Astory is told of a group of missionaries making a long trek across an uncharted land. They were making this trek on foot and had hired a group of natives to guide them through the unfamiliar territory. One day, the missionaries were becoming impatient and pushed the native guides harder and harder to travel faster. Instead of traveling faster, the guides slowed down and finally stopped. The missionaries, confused because the native guides did not appear to be tired, ask the guides, “Why did you stop? It is still daylight and we can travel longer.” One of the native guides replied, “We must stop and wait for our souls to catch up with us.”
In our 24 by 7, “always on” world, we are frantically moving, both physically and mentally. We rise early to work out just in time to grab a breakfast sandwich on the way to work. We work all day, rarely pausing, racing to the end of the day. Then, we rush home to quickly make dinner so we can take the kids to soccer practice or piano lessons, run to class, or begin our evening activities. We are engaged in “busy-ness”. Most of us rarely pause to wait for our souls to catch up with us. This results in our bodies experiencing exhaustion, stress, weight gain, increased blood pressure, reduced mental acuity, and susceptibility to injury and disease. This “race for the finish” also results in poorer decisions, lowered quality of relationships, emotional burnout, and spiritual starvation.
Why don’t we just slow down? There are as many reasons as there are busy people. However, I believe one of the primary reasons is that we do not know how to fully pause and let our souls catch up. One of the most powerful methods of such a renewal is the intentional act of reflection. Noted business consultant and educator Peter Drucker stated, “Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action.” I would add that from the quiet reflection will also come peace of mind, calmness, and joy. But how does one go about reflecting? I have identified three levels of reflection. Here they are with a few tips for practicing each one:
Surface Reflection – This is the name I have given to reflection that is not very deep. During surface reflection, you are focusing on tangible actions you have taken or events that have occurred. While this type of reflection is not deep, it is helpful. At the end of the day, it enables you to quietly think about your accomplishments, your shortcomings, and what you would like to do ‘more of’ or ‘less of’ in the future.
To practice any level of reflection, you should set aside time (even if only 15 minutes) during which you will not be interrupted. You should find a quiet, peaceful place to sit comfortably, close your eyes, and reflect. An easy way to practice surface reflection is to simply think through your day from beginning to end, pausing to ponder on noteworthy events and actions. Then, simply ask yourself simple questions such as, “How effective was that action?” “Did that action get the result I had hoped for?” “If that situation arises again, how might I handle it differently?”
Deep Reflection – Reflecting on your thinking is what I call “Deep Reflection”. Some call it metacognition which means “thinking about your thinking”. In deep reflection, you are focusing on your thought processes and asking yourself if you were thinking about issues in the most accurate, effective way. This is a powerful way to coach yourself to respond and react in a more effective way and to make better decisions.
To practice deep reflection (much like surface reflection), you might begin by thinking about your day and focusing on the thoughts or emotions that stood out for you. Relive your thought processes in those moments. Were your thoughts shaped by a negative experience you’ve had? In hindsight, were your thoughts the most effective thoughts for evaluating the situation you were facing? If you had “do overs”, how might you have thought about that situation differently to get a different result?
Core Reflection – Using reflection to engage your deepest internal spirit or Higher Power (I call this source God but your tradition might have a different name) to guide you through critically important phases and decisions of your life is what I call Core Reflection. Core Reflection is characterized by such a deep reflection and meditation that many who have experienced it say that there are no words to describe it. Some people call it the “gut space”. If is that place where you receive revelations that might give you goosebumps or bring you to tears.
To practice Core Reflection, it might be helpful to first become comfortable with surface and deep reflection. Then, explore deeper by asking yourself, “What do I hear from the very center of my being?” “What might my Higher Power be saying to me?” “Where is my soul in this decision?” This is the place of reflection in which you truly allow your soul to catch up with you and to guide you.
Are you ready to become more effective, more energized, and more alive? Make an appointment with yourself to begin practicing the art of reflection and watch your world change.
